A Place for the Square Peg.

 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.~1 Corinthians 13:2

I was raised and still attend a pretty conservative church by the average christian's standards. It's an upbringing I have always appreciated and still do! (That's a bit of a disclaimer for my mom who now has an ipad and will read my blog posts.)

Recently I have heard our church called pharisaic and legalistic. I have mixed feeling about that, I feel both understanding and indignation for those comments. Are we 'rules' oriented? Yes, for sure. But some of the most well rounded children come out of the most 'rules oriented' families! God doesn't want us just running willy nilly!  I don't think rules are a bad thing, especially for people with a sinful nature that would self destruct left to their own devices. But there are a couple problems with the over-glorification of rules.

 Judgement
When there is a definite set of rules on how a christian should conduct themselves and live then there is a lot of judgement for folks who don't live that way. I get that there are ten commandments and I hold them in high esteem, but do we hold them ALL equally in high esteem? Truthfully we hold some a little higher than others, for example taking God's name in vain and not attending church are REALLY bad. Killing and adultery are bad but mostly we don't do that, WHAT? We don't lust? We don't call each other fool??? Oh oh, seems like we aren't doing any better than anyone else? So why oh why do we dare hold someone else to a standard we have no ability to keep ourselves? Do you know why I judge? Because it makes ME feel better about my sins and struggles.

We. must. stop. 
STOP.

No matter if we have the most sound doctrine out there, if we judge based on a list of rules that we get to give importance and weight to at our own discretion we dishonour what God revealed to us! We blaspheme His Holy Word and His Holy Name.

Stop looking at what our believing neighbour does, stop looking at what our unbelieving neighbour does and place Jesus' summary of the commandments in JUST as high esteem as the rest. 'LOVE your God and LOVE your neighbour as yourself.' When you love someone you do not judge them. You do not live their life. You do not know their circumstances.God walks beside them, He knows their struggles, and He gives the life of His only Child for them. Then we dare to think we are in a position to know better than God? If a person seems to be stuck in a sin the truth is they need your love all the more. How many of us when a sister or brother is not in church calls them to see if they are ok? Visits? How many of us judge them behind their back with words like, 'Well, no wonder they are depressed if they don't go to church because that is where you get lifted up.' I've been guilty of saying that. Then God taught me some really hard lessons.

If the last few years of my life have taught me anything it's this. Life can hurt so much you don't know how to lift you head any more much less attend church. In those times, the love of a sister or brother in the Lord has been Christ to me. Christs love wasn't something unreachable then, it was there beside me. Jesus to the least of these! That is our mission. It is our mission to the adulterer, to the homosexual, to the murder, to the theif, to the unbeliever and believer alike.

Unless we release the judgement that we are clutching in our heart and using to prop ourselves up we will never be able to properly evangelize and obey God. It's ok to have rules, but you may not use them as a measuring stick to see how people come up short. Use them as you would for your kids, a way to love them and keep them from hurting themselves.

A Lack of Joy
Recently I talked to a friend about folks saying there is a lack of joy in conservative churches. The friend didn't understand she finds great joy in our church. I can see both sides of this. If you are able to separate yourself from a list of rules and see them as ways to love God, following them out of thankfulness then they don't bother you. You see them as a safety net. They help you guide your way.

However for some people attempting to follow rules and falling short gives them great sadness. They feel like a square peg in a round hole. Have you ever felt like that? Like you just don't quite 'belong'? They feel like from the moment they darken the church door to the moment they leave that everyone is eyeing them and thinking 'Why is she wearing that, why don't they bring that kid to the nursery, where were they last week, he's not even singing etc etc' And let's be honest, sometimes we are thinking that. That brings us back to judging. If we feel judged we can't feel joy. We can't. We're always looking over our shoulder. Trying to be 'good enough'. But isn't that the point? We can NEVER be good enough. That is precisely why Jesus died. I think when you have struggled with depression you understand this better. You feel Satan beating you down daily whispering 'You'll never be enough.' in your ear, and you just want to go the church and know that you don't HAVE to be enough.

The kind of Joy these people are looking for is not Joy in following guidelines or Joy in working hard for the Lord, it's just JOY, basking in the glory of the cross, and all Christ has achieved for them. Those other 'works' they flow out of such a JOY, not into it.

It seems that some churches have decided to take a different approach with struggling sinners, because they are trying hard to break free of a legalistic mold.  Is it wrong for a church to accept sinners, who live in sin, show them love and pray for the Spirit to change their life?  Should church members be held more accountable than that? I don't think accountability for church members is a bad thing. We are all supposed to keep one another in line in love, but we must remember that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. It is by GRACE we are saved. We must try not to sin any more but the truth is we will.We can leave changing hearts up to God, He's REALLY good at it! :)  And maybe the reason saved souls still sin is to teach us humility so that we cannot look down our nose at the person in the pew next to us. Or down the street. Yes that person who smokes the smelly stuff  and screams profanities at their kids, we're not better than them, not really. But the Spirit in our hearts, He is better, and He makes us more than we could ever be.