It is not really that this morning dawned any different than the others of the week. In fact my kids had me up shortly after 6, (generally the rule is everyone stays in bed until 7,) I am single parenting for two days, and when I called my boys for school this morning one of them came grousing about not having 'long enough to play' and then told me I was wrong about tomorrow being a PD (no school) day because his teacher said he had school. Usually nothing gets me more frustrated than arguing with an insolent grumpy kid who refuses to believe I might actually know something more than him! And I admit it did irritate me. But I took a breath and blew it out. I hugged him and told him I was sure it was a day off, but if he really wanted he could go! (His response was grumpier yet.)
But something more happened as I walked out in the fresh snow, and milder weather, maybe despite the snow I felt the hope of spring. Maybe the chat with my hubby while I did the dishes did it. Maybe it's just the letting go of frustrations and letting the Spirit do it's work. Maybe it's the scrapbook page I made yesterday titled 'Count your Blessings'.
Name them one by one.
Count your many blessings see, what GOD has done.
Trials are a strange thing. They've brought me closer to Jesus for sure, they've required me to ask for mercies new every morning. I think I'm a pretty slow learner though because while they helped me focus heavenward I feel like there were times I could only focus heavenward and barely saw all that I HAVE.
Today I want to glory in MORE than just my journey's end. More than just my eternal heavenly home that difficult times have made me yearn for! I want to glory in the gift of a loving and better yet, believing husband, in believing children, in healthy children, in a warm home, in enough food to eat, in the joys of friends of family and hobbies like music and scrapbooking and computers to keep in touch.
If I am honest great thanksgiving like this makes me nervous about what tomorrow may bring. We've had some tough times sometimes I feel as though I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop!
It's hard work to push that aside to say, Thank you Father, in this DAY, in this HOUR, for all your many blessings. Whatever comes, LEAD me in paths of righteousness, and thankfulness. Give me the confidence to believe that you have given me blessings to enjoy because you love me and allow me to enjoy them with out fear. Allow me to believe that it's ok to be happy. Let me look to the future without fear!
If any one of you who reads this feels sometimes like they are afraid to have a day of joy, and thankfulness for all their many gifts, know you're not alone, and if you believe Jesus has paid your debt then KNOW that those trials are NOT punishments. God wants you to take joy in his blessings. It is really ok to be happy and thankful in all circumstances. I am praying for you! Please pray for me too!
And keep counting blessings, no matter what!
