Healing from Pregnancy Loss

Yesterday facebook memory sent me this picture. I shared it and it keeps getting likes and popping back up... like a reminder... so here I sit to type.

It's just a picture! But what a flood of emotions.This was taken 10 years ago when I had 8 weeks to go with our third son, Griffin who is almost 10. In this picture my innocence about the hardships of miscarriage and infant loss was fully intact. This picture is really beautiful but it makes me grieve a bit too. I'll be 40 in a few weeks and between this picture and now ~ 6 covenant children have left the sanctuary of my womb to dwell with God eternally. 

  This picture is that last pregnancy I was able to carry to term. 

You know, years back a woman told me "You tell everyone about your problems." Whew. That one STUNG. And I kind of held it in after that. I did talk about it to closer friends and family a lot because it was my therapy. I'm a talker.😏 It wasn't the only time it was sort of suggested I should shush about my personal life. I'm thankful God has given me the confidence today to say that it I don't have to feel bad that pregnancy loss has been hard for me, and that it's something we should talk about more.

 If I had lost a 3 or 5 year old child it would be acceptable to mention their name... I lost six covenant children, and sometimes I still feel funny talking about it. Why? Because I was 'only three months pregnant" I'm not really allowed to feel sad about it? They just "weren't meant to be"? I wish that in our conservative (United Reformed and Canadian Reformed) pro life churches would be pro life about the loss of pregnancy too. If an aborted baby is precious so is a miscarried one. Of course there are good experiences with sensitive people too. In our church a few weeks after I lost my last pregnancy at 12 weeks and was still  recovering a covenant child was stillborn. The Pastor took me aside before the funeral and told me that everything he said at the funeral of that child was true for our children too.  I think it helped me close the book a little. In one way it was so private, because all my pregnancies weren't known in the congregation. In another way I wished I could grieve with others as we were together as a church that day. 

So the real reason I share my experiences with pregnancy loss is because I know there are women out there experiencing or having experienced what I did and they want to read something to which they can breathe an "AMEN!" And because I want to turn a difficult time in my life to something good, and helpful to others. It's a lonely pain. Even to your spouse it's difficult to explain the sense of loss when you loose a baby inside your body. It's hard to explain that attachment when you haven't felt them kick yet but you knew that they were there in the subtle changes in your body. I think now with the pro life movement gaining ground and the pictures we have of unborn babies it's almost harder because we know that they were alive and thriving for some time. But maybe it's not bad that it's harder. It's good to celebrate that they WERE and that they ARE. 

Sometimes I read things online that make me roll my eyes and maybe someone will read this and do that... that's ok, you know what's good to remember? If it doesn't speak to you -- Scroll On! Maybe we all need that tattooed on our scrolling thumbs. Just kidding. But really. Everyone in this world is walking a path you know nothing about. Be Kind! (Preaching to myself here too... 😃)

God had a purpose in allowing me to become pregnant 6 times and wanting those children in heaven with Him. I do not pretend to understand it, but I can accept it. I have questions for sure. A woman I love told me that "Why is an OK place to visit but it's not a good place to stay." She's so right. We have to move on. We have to accept God's plan and say "God you have ordained this for me so I know you will give me the strength to endure it!" That's not to say I think God causes miscarriage. I think sin causes miscarriage and God uses difficult things to bring us closer to Him. 

Because of miscarriage I have held my boys closer and dearer and spoken openly with them about life and death and babies in heaven and even abortion. Because of miscarriage I have learned to trust God even in the most uncertain times and understood that He can and will lift me out of the deepest chasm. Because of miscarriage I know that God has given me a man that loves me more than life itself. Because of miscarriage I have searched scripture and sung hymns and prayed fervently. Because of miscarriage I have connected to other women whose hearts have been broken by loss. Because of miscarriage I am writing this now.

There's no end to the bad stuff we're going to experience on a broken earth. There's no end to the pain and grief we'll suffer here. But God takes a broken world and uses it to draw us to Him and there's a daily miracle in that. I hope I can continue to see it every time a trial comes my way. And I hope those who have experienced trials that I have yet to go through will not stay silent but that they will walk along side me. 

This is my love to any of you who are suffering and don't know how to push on. There were two scripture passages I leaned on in Psalms and they became my mantra. Even if God never gives you another child and that 'happy ending' doesn't come, you can be content. Keep asking Him for contentment. Send me a message if you need to... I'll pray for you, and I do pray for you even though I may not know you!

God's Purpose in 2016

Happy New Year! So I was thinking about Griffin's (grade 2) memory verse this morning as he was reciting it to me and it was actually one I already know. I even knew where it was which is kind of a big deal cuz while I think I know quite a lot of scripture I never know where to find it back. For this reason and many others I'm thankful for google. Though hopefully my children won't need it as much as me.
Anyway Griffin's verse is Romans: 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, and have been called according to his purpose.
It's a great verse and a long time favourite. Another verse that struck me a few years back was one of my kid's memory verses too.... Proverbs 19:21 which is Many are the plans of a man's heart but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. 

I think a lot about God's purpose. Because there are things that happen so often, the older I get the more I experience this, in my life and in others' lives, that seem to have no purpose. They just seem so HARD and what good could they do? I think when really difficult roads must be traveled (read: suffer 6 consecutive miscarriages) than it's a comfort to know God has a purpose. But... once in a while our minds (mine anyway) float into THAT territory. What, God, could the purpose possibly BE? Why? A lady I know told me that "Why?" is an ok place to visit but not a good place to stay and that's the truth!

So in my wanderings of the Bible I've thought more and more about how God's purpose in the end isn't only about me. It's about eternity. And while right now the stuff I go through seems to be so all encompassing, it's a very small bump on the road to a life everlasting with Jesus. And that's the GOAL. To live with Jesus in eternity. And let's face it, that's the main goal every Christian person has for their children. Many a nights parents spend tearfully begging the Lord to bring their children back into His fold and for 6 of our children God has already achieved that Goal. I'm thankful. But it's still a struggle.

When I think about trials being a means to God's purpose it's somehow easier to bear them. I don't struggle at all with trials being part of God's purpose. I struggle a bit with them being part of His Plan or Will. Can God's will for us contain evil things?! When someone dies of cancer we say "God brought to Himself so and so" and I think that's true, but still God is only Good so He can't be the author of anything evil and if there's anything evil in this world it's cancer. Not to mention all sorts of other horrific things brought on by sin like rape, torture, child abuse, and I'm done with this depressing list. One day I discovered there are different parts of God's Will. Some say there are two parts and some say three or more... I'm no theologian so I'll give you my layman's terms from my vast research (and by research I mean I read some articles I googled)

1. God's sovereign or decretive or hidden will. (Maybe can we give it ONE name for us simple folk?) It means that God is always in control.  He causes everything that happens good or bad to work towards His Goals and Purposes which are ultimately to glorify Him. Sovereign will is about the eternal end result: That all God's chosen people will be glorifying Him in heaven. This is the will we have to trust and not seek to understand.

2. God's perceptive or revealed will. Basically this is how He reveals that He wants us (us being believers) to live our lives which is in the 10 Commandments. But more than that I think it's about how He defines the 10 Commandments in the New Testament as not just a list of rules but a way of loving him and those around us. See Jesus' summary of the law: Mark 12:31

3. God's permissive will. This is the one that allowed the fall into sin to happen and allows it to continue. However because God is God He is able to make bad things turn to good and be part of his plan for us. Which is essentially what Roman's 8:28 says. This also makes me think of what Joseph said to his brothers in Genesis 50:20, You meant it for evil but God meant it for good. My little brain finds this one quite similar to number 1. (This one doesn't excuse sin by the way, just proves God's power to turn it to our good.)

Anyway let me tell you my opinion that comes from my self imposed google doctorate. :)
It's kind of like parenting kids. Sometimes they make choices and you give them a punishment, but as they mature more often than not when they make poor choices you tell them and/or you step back and allow them to suffer the consequences of those choices. Then there are the times that you actually bring them to pain for their own good, like their immunizations and the dentist or potty training (in my case this nearly killed me and them!) And they don't always understand why or what's happening they only know it hurts.

If you are like me when you are thinking about God NOT being the author of evil then you immediately thing of God "hardening" Pharaoh's heart several times in the Bible. I did a bit of reading on that one too and it seems that the Hebrew root word of to harden is the same as to strengthen. In that way we could read that God strengthened or allowed to be strengthened the resolve that was already in Pharaoh's heart. This makes sense. Since as a Calvinist christian I believe that God calls FIRST and then we are compelled to answer it's not God's fault if He allows some one's own sinful resolve to strengthen, He didn't GIVE Pharaoh the idea He just let him run with it.

We are living in a monster of our own making. We are reaping what we sowed. God sent His son so that we only have to suffer a little while (1 Peter 5:10) But suffer we shall and some more than others. That's the only guarantee. But I know this with certainty, He is not in heaven enjoying my pain, He is grieving with me anticipating the day when He shall wipe every tear from my eye! He is a loving parent holding their child's hand through an immunization. He is a caring Father hurting for His child's skinned knee even though he said "Don't take your bike down that hill."

Then after I re read all this I think of my wonderful husband and beautiful sons and I think if this world can offer so much even through grief and pain and heartache, imagine what a perfect world will offer? And I think that's the point! Always looking forward, with the goal in sight but also enjoying the gifts this fleeting life.

Here are some of the articles I read, if you want your own google doctorate: The Will of God  R.C. Sproul, God Harden's Hearts - What does that mean?, Who Hardened Pharaoh's Heart?, Permissive Will,

Raising Boys

It's interesting I don't think I ever pictured myself with only boys. I'm sure thankful I got such wonderful boys though! So yesterday a good friend sent me this article about raising wild boys. Wow did that article ever resound with me! Know what this is?

 Yup it's a five gallon bucket of sticks that I am not allowed to throw away. Every time I pick up a stick in this yard someone yells "That's my best sword/gun/spear/wand/baton/etc" If we go for a hike or walk you can be guaranteed I'll be hauling sticks back in my van. Last month they were trying to get me to carry their rocks down a mountain when we went on a hike. (I didn't, I was busy carrying me.)

So are my boys busy and maybe a bit wild? Yup. And like the author of that article, I am not apologizing for them. We aren't the perfect parents by any means but that's not why they are busy, it's not parenting, it's not from the tv, it's WHO THEY ARE. And guess what? God doesn't create all children equal. It's not sin that makes a boy busy. It's sin that makes him do bad things and I know for a fact the quiet ones do bad things too, they just do them quietly...

And in case anyone was wondering, my boys have opinions are girls stuff. They like to pick my nail polish colours they almost always notice my outfit on Sunday morning and tell me I look pretty. They love learning to cook and bake and they all three know how to put in a load of laundry. Ethan loves learning piano and they can spend hours and hours laying on their bedroom floor quietly playing lego.

Yet every day my neighbours likely hear me yelling "Outside or downstairs!!"

Raising boys is hard, it's different when you have a houseful of them and you're the only female, but I'm praying these guys are going to bring me home some daughter in laws some day and I want them to have lots of rough and tumble practice at being strong men who protect and take care of their families. That's the kind of man I have and he was a wild boy too. I'm thinking their 'busyness' didn't hurt a few weeks ago on our trip to Manitoba when we picked 11 ice cream pails of strawberries in just over and hour! They were troopers!

Sometimes people say things to me like "Your boys have such great imaginations." "I love how much character they have!" (I know that this is code for "they are busy" but thanks for saying it like that because you are like me seeing the GOOD in being busy.)

If you are out there raising busy boys (and girls) and thinking you are the only one who can't get your kids sitting still in church, I'm here to tell you you aren't the only one and it is really ok! If we can just pray for help and do our jobs right just maybe that busy will translate into ambition! It sure did in my hubby!

The world needs more wild boys. :)

Roux Sauce and the Existence of God

In the past few months I've read a few arguments between atheists and Christians and at times though I often feel ill equipped, felt called to offer my two cents. I think if we are perfectly honest as Christians we can say we've all had a moment or two of doubt, when the evil one waits in the wings threatening to undo us and we look heavenward and think, "Is He.... are You... really there God?" I've been extremely blessed in always knowing and believing that God existed and not often feeling such doubts, (I have lots of other doubts about God and His plans, but rarely had any about His actual existence.)

Sometimes though, God speaks to us in the little things in life. This week I was making a white sauce for pasta by incorporating flour into melted margarine in a hot frying pan, then adding milk slowly to make a sauce. I have recently learned this is called a 'roux' based sauce. The first time I had to toss it, it went lumpy because I added too much flour. I knew it as soon as I added some milk. The second time it went perfectly and there's a moment when you're stirring fast and adding milk that the lumpy margarine and flour mixture congeals and turns into a nice thick white sauce.

I love that moment.

That's a moment (one of the many) that I know there is a God, and He made everything work together perfectly.

Oh, I'm sure a scientist could give me the perfect definition with complicated words of why flour and butter and milk in the right amounts will do this. But that was a moment this week, when I really knew that God ordained those ingredients to work that way. He knew when He made the wheat plant and the canola plant and the cow that they would produce ingredients that would do this. And He gave the first guy who made this sauce (bless his heart) the ability to do it.

If something as small as roux sauce can work together so perfectly... I can't ever believe that this world just evolved here from helium and hydrogen, and whatever other miraculous event of big bang proportions that no scientist can truly explain.

And sadly if roux sauce doesn't convince you, as well as every organ in your body working in harmony, or the way babies are made and born or the way the seasons come and go.... etc, etc, etc.... then the Spirit isn't working in your heart, and the only thing I can do about that is pray.
To an evolutionist to say I believe in God because of roux sauce sounds ludicrous. To a person filled with God's Spirit it makes perfect sense... (well to those of us who love to cook anyway :) )

So I keep on praying that the hearts of these people I've argued with about the existence of God are filled with God's Spirit and they too see the truth. And I feel profoundly sad that many don't.  It brings to mind Matthew 12: 30, Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters. There isn't any 'in between'. If you don't love the Lord you're following Satan, even if you don't believe Satan exists. 

For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. ~  Matthew 7:13, 14

Be one of the few! God Bless!

Living Thanksgiving

It's another snowy but not as cold morning in Alberta and today my heart is pressed to be thankful. As I watched my three boys run across the street to their school and the littlest one to turn back and blow me a kiss it occurred to me that I am not ever thankful enough. Too often I bemoan the difficult times and the blessings God withheld. Today I want to choose Thanksgiving.

It is not really that this morning dawned any different than the others of the week. In fact my kids had me up shortly after 6, (generally the rule is everyone stays in bed until 7,) I am single parenting for two days, and when I called my boys for school this morning one of them came grousing about not having 'long enough to play' and then told me I was wrong about tomorrow being a PD (no school) day because his teacher said he had school. Usually nothing gets me more frustrated than arguing with an insolent grumpy kid who refuses to believe I might actually know something more than him! And I admit it did irritate me. But I took a breath and blew it out.  I hugged him and told him I was sure it was a day off, but if he really wanted he could go! (His response was grumpier yet.)


But something more happened as I walked out in the fresh snow, and milder weather, maybe despite the snow I felt the hope of spring. Maybe the chat with my hubby while I did the dishes did it. Maybe it's just the letting go of frustrations and letting the Spirit do it's work. Maybe it's the scrapbook page I made yesterday titled 'Count your Blessings'.

Name them one by one.

Count your many blessings see, what GOD has done.

Trials are a strange thing. They've brought me closer to Jesus for sure, they've required me to ask for mercies new every morning. I think I'm a pretty slow learner though because while they helped me focus heavenward I feel like there were times I could only focus heavenward and barely saw all that I HAVE.

Today I want to glory in MORE than just my journey's end. More than just my eternal heavenly home that difficult times have made me yearn for! I want to glory in the gift of a loving and better yet, believing husband, in believing children, in healthy children, in a warm home, in enough food to eat, in the joys of friends of family and hobbies like music and scrapbooking and computers to keep in touch.

If I am honest great thanksgiving like this makes me nervous about what tomorrow may bring. We've had some tough times sometimes I feel as though I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop!

It's hard work to push that aside to say, Thank you Father, in this DAY, in this HOUR, for all your many blessings. Whatever comes, LEAD me in paths of righteousness, and thankfulness. Give me the confidence to believe that you have given me blessings to enjoy because you love me and allow me to enjoy them with out fear. Allow me to believe that it's ok to be happy. Let me look to the future without fear!

If any one of you who reads this feels sometimes like they are afraid to have a day of joy, and thankfulness for all their many gifts, know you're not alone, and if you believe Jesus has paid your debt then KNOW that those trials are NOT punishments. God wants you to take joy in his blessings. It is really ok to be happy and thankful in all circumstances. I am praying for you! Please pray for me too!

And keep counting blessings, no matter what!

What Grace Alone Really Means

Well, anyone who knows me at all or has read a few of these blog entries knows that I am often thinking about the difference good works produced by faith as opposed to good works produced by legalistic tendencies. In lay persons or 'Amy' terms you could say I rebel, following rules just for the sake of following them. The call seemed to come to me in Ladies' Bible Study today as we discussed why we obey God's rules for us.

In my church we read Ten Very Familiar Rules every Sunday morning. In the past few years of exploring my Christianity and attending other churches who do not keep this practice I have questioned the importance of keeping this tradition. I hear feathers bristling! Read on dear Friend! You haven't reached my conclusion yet!

First of all I've done some researching and questioning about the 10 Commandments as part of the law of the old testament that was fulfilled by the death of Christ. In Matthew 5:17 Jesus himself says he came to fulfill the law not abolish it. I think this is very significant. Jesus didn't hate the law, he knew it was a law of love and he came to complete it not to destroy it. Now the question is can we say that Jesus fulfilled the part of the law with the sacrifices and uncleanness etc but he didn't fulfill the 10 Commandments? It's just not possible. Jesus fulfilled the entire law and he gave us a new one, he gave us a law of love. He shifts the focus from the justification by obedience to justification through faith by His sacrifice. Just read the book of Galatians that speaks of the gift of the Spirit and freedom from the law. I don't think that means we don't follow the 10 Commandments I think it means we follow them with a different purpose. Our salvation has already been accomplished. Following those rules doesn't get us anywhere with God, but it does get us far in our own lives. Our lives will be easier if we follow the rules. Just like we say to our kids! :)

In Matthew 12 Jesus tells us that the most important commandments are Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your strength  and love your neighbour as yourself. Three things shout out to me here. Love GOD. Love your NEIGHBOUR. Love YOURSELF. In that order. If you love these three truly and purely if you try very hard to follow this summary Jesus gives then you will by default follow the entire Ten. Every person who loves God wants to worship him on Sunday! No person who loves his neighbour would kill him or lie about him or try to take his spouse! A person who loves herself as a child of God will care for herself and live close to the Lord. Beyond this Jesus also repeats all the commandments in the new testament except for 'Honour the Sabbath' which makes sense since we no longer have a 'sabbath' which was Saturday, the day God rested.

In our church we still read 'honour the sabbath' commandment, but we honour it on Sunday. I don't want to get completely into this as it's another whole blog post but I do want to say this. For Ryan and I honouring Sunday is going to church, and keeping it special by not doing our daily routine. We don't shop or mow the lawn. I will however bake a cake if I feel like it and pull some weeds in my flower bed if I see them while sitting outside Sunday afternoon. When Ryan was in university he would read a chapter or two out of his text book if he felt like it. We know some people don't think these things are right, but we also know it is really between us and the Lord. I do not think it is fair or right to say 'Well, those people don't believe because they shop on Sunday." It's not even logical. It's certainly not loving your neighbour.

 If obeying the law is so important why then weren't the Pharisees exalted in the Bible as they obeyed the law meticulously? Aha! Here is a fascinating concept. The motivation is considered just as or more important as/than the actions. Romans 2:29 speaks about obeying the letter of the law not meaning anything if you don't have a changed heart. This was about circumcision but it's an excellent warning for us too. It has nothing to do with gaining brownie points for obedience and everything to do our motivation. Oh what a stumbling block Jesus was for the Pharisees. They hated him because he wanted to take away their self righteousness and their idolatry. Really they had made a god out of following the rules the right way. They never obeyed it in love but looking down their noses at everyone else. And then Jesus came along and says people who never obeyed it a day can go to heaven? They couldn't stand the idea! Read Romans 9: 30 -33 from the NLT.

What does all this mean? Even though the Gentiles were not trying to follow God’s standards, they were made right with God. And it was by faith that this took place. But the people of Israel, who tried so hard to get right with God by keeping the law, never succeeded. Why not? Because they were trying to get right with God by keeping the law instead of by trusting in him. They stumbled over the great rock in their path. God warned them of this in the Scriptures when he said,

“I am placing a stone in Jerusalem  that makes people stumble,

a rock that makes them fall.

But anyone who trusts in him

will never be disgraced.”

Don't we sometimes fall over the same block? Wanting to say, even just in our hearts "See, so and so doesn't do this or that, they can't be a true believer like me." ? I know I'm guilty of this kind of self justification.

Another reason we have 10 Commandments is to show us our need for a Saviour by shedding light on our sin. You only have to look to the title of this blog to know that I feel this an important reminder. Feeling convicted is good because it makes us thankful for our salvation and in turn out of thankfulness we follow God's laws for our lives which pleases Him. It slows us down from trying to do it all on our own. (Again God's great love for us to remind us not to try to do it on our own!) When we make this the only or most important reason to follow God's commands we actually dishonour God. We place the focus on our sin when it should be on Grace. Especially in a room full of redeemed people! Those commandments should bring us immense JOY. They should not be a burden. Each one should resound in our hearts saying "Yes I did that, Lord, thank you for your incredible GRACE." The focus should be that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

So should we still follow the ten commandments today? Well look at it this way. If you were given a country to run what is the very first thing you would do? Would you suppose that people by their good natures and kindness would live in harmony? Or would you think some guidelines were necessary? Every country and kingdom has rules! If they didn't there would be anarchy! Endless factual and fiction books are written on the consequences of the breakdown of government and rules. This is how the ten commandments free us. If you live in a community of people who all agree not to kill or steal or bear false witness you live in safety and not in fear. Better yet if they agree to honour God on Sundays together and love each other compassionately. Who wouldn't want to live in such a community!

I guess my main point here is that if we misuse  the Ten Commandments by honouring them out of a sense of duty rather than a sense of thankfulness we really aren't following them at all. Not in the light of the summary of them in Matthew 12. They are not meant to be a measuring stick to condemn others. We can leave the condemning up to God. Even in church cases where someone is excommunicated based on a sin  or sins against certain commandments the goal is not to condemn but rather to discipline and hopefully instill repentance. Even then it must be loving motives not our own sense of justice. (Remember what happened when Jonah wanted to appease his own sense of justice rather than God's.) True justice is the eternal condemnation of all of us. If God can love us enough to give us the LIFE of his only Son we can certainly love Him enough to help one another to follow His rules, and forgive one another when we fall.

Before this faith came, we were held prisoners by the law, locked up until faith should be revealed.  So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith. Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law.~ Galatians 3: 24,25 NIV

Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.” ~ John 14: 21 NIV

Honouring God on October 31

It's time for me to weigh in or maybe wade in on October 31. Every year at this time the facebook posts start in earnest for and against allowing your kids to participate in any way in Halloween and Trick or Treating festivities. Being of the Reformed faith there's always been a big clash since I was a kid because October 31 is also Reformation Day which is a pretty important event in Reformed Theological History. Growing up I was always allowed to go Trick or Treating. Many of my church friends did and the ones that didn't often still handed out candy. 

The greatest struggle I have with the facebook posts against Christians getting involved in Halloween festivities is that most of my facebook 'friends' are Christians, so if I post something it's not in order to evangelize it's to share it with my fellow christian. So when my Christian friends post a blog that tells why allowing your kids to trick or treat is wrong I assume they are hinting that I should not be allowing my kids to go, since they already choose not to. Then I feel I have to post a 'this is why Halloween can be ok' blog to defend myself. This whole thing irritates and disappoints me. I cannot understand why we can't give each other the benefit of the doubt! I believe all my christian friends, trick or treaters or not are prayerfully doing their best to raise their kids to honour God. I hope and pray that they will believe the same of Ryan and I. 

Respectfully, I would like to point out my personal reasons for allowing my kids to be involved in trick or treating and then I would like to explain why I believe some of the 'reasons' people give that allowing involvement in Halloween is a dishonour to God is incorrect.

On why we allow our kids to get involved.
1. Because we have busy boys, who we ask to sit still in Church and school and this is one night they can run around and ring doorbells and have fun, it makes us and them glad to do it.
2. Because it a chance to speak to all our neighbours.
3. Because of the way the seniors faces light up when they see the kids dressed up.

On why I don't feel we're dishonouring God
1.All  Hallows Eve's origins are actually not pagan, Samhain is pagan and it was a three day festival that the druids and Celtic celebrated. (While we're at it a reminder that the Christmas tree has similar 'pagan' roots.) All Hallows Eve was placed on the middle day of Samhain to overshadow the pagan festival. See here.
2. Participating in trick or treating is not 'conforming to the world'. If I felt trick or treating was wrong I guess allowing my kids to be involved would be conforming to the world. Since we don't allow our kids to dress up as grim reapers or watch scary movies on Halloween we think we are not being 'of' the world. As it is I hope and pray they are a light in the world as they do their thing tomorrow night!
3. It is not glorifying Satan to allow my kids to trick or treat. It is just a day, Satan is not any more powerful that day than any other and to buy into such an idea is to be superstitious and to be superstitious is to glorify Satan.  In Romans 8: 7,8 Paul speaks about eating meat that was sacrificed to idols and isn't at all concerned about eating it. It's just food. 
4. I am not diminishing Reformation Day because I thank God for my (reformed) faith every single day. There is one day a year that kids can ring neighbours doorbells and get treats and to be honest we do this for 2 hours in a 24 hour day. There are 365 to praise God for the 95 Thesis. Then I could always dress Ethan up as Martin Luther that would be a conversation starter! :)
5. Lights turned out does not imply that you are abstaining because you are a Christian. I know for sure that some feel they are making a great sacrifice and statement by choosing not to participate. On our block which is the only place we take our kids half the houses have their lights out. So not being home or hiding makes no statement at all. 

I have prayerfully considered my opinions and God's direction for our family on this for several days and am brought back again and again to Romans 14. 

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean.

This is verses 12 to 14 but the whole chapter talks about this. It talks too about stumbling blocks and I know that some may say by allowing this I am placing a stumbling block for those who feel it's wrong. But that is a two way street. Sometimes I feel like my brothers and sisters in the Lord are trying to make me feel something is wrong that I don't feel is wrong because they aren't comfortable with it. We have christian liberty in Christ. We have to decide for ourselves and it's God's business to do the judging! But we should all at least think highly enough of each other to believe that we all have thought about it and do desire to honour God. Friends please don't be distressed, Ryan and I truly have thought this through. We respect your decision please respect ours.